it's Xmas in July!

Well not really, but Japanese have the hardest time with getting the holidays on the right days, or even months for that matter! I know that you are a whole day in the future to the rest of the western world, but seriously - let's check out the calendar since you are planning on ripping off the American holidays, do it with some dignity!

Let's look at example A - Halloween is a holiday at the end of October - not for the middle of September - yesterday, I found out that all the Halloween decorations for the office must be up by today, the 22nd of September...Also, haunted houses don't seem that scary when it's still light out at 7pm, aka - don't start them until October! September is the time for students to bitch and moan about classes and having to go back to school from their summer vacations - I can't make a bulletin board with pencils, rulers and witches hats - it's screws up the whole fung shui of it!

Example B - Valentines is the 14th of February - not the 14th of March - it's a overly romanticized holiday where everyone is supposed to be googlie-eyed for a special someone and you shower them with chocolates and flowers...well, in Japan, the ladies get the men a gift on the 14th and then a month later the men reciprocate...why would you want to prolong the world's cheesiest holiday!?

Example C - Christmas is on the 25th - there is no way around that - it's a holiday that has been brilliantly designed by the business masters of the 20th century who figured out that the only good time to shop is when it's cold out since malls are warm. Not only do they not have stockings in Japan - they feel the need to go to KFC and buy chicken, since there is no turkey available, and pretend to live in the holiday spirit that wafts over from America...Let's just say if I get rice in my stocking I won't be a happy camper..oh and don't even get me started on not having cranberry sauce for my substitute Thanksgiving this year...:P

So, another funny food thing is when there are foods that have the same name but are actually something totally different. I learned this over the past week from a student when we decided to discuss tapioca pudding. It went from a simple, light conversation about a yummy american snack into a full on debate over what the hell tapioca is - complete with diagrams and hand gestures....basically, we both agreed to disagree...:)

I would like to point out some basics in foreign gym etiquette...

If I'm on a machine, don't stand next to me waiting for me to finish - because I'm probably not goin to move any faster, I will grunt louder and I will try to sweat on all the parts that you will have to touch next..:)

If I put my Ipod ear phones back in, that's my non verbal communicative way of telling you that I'm done speaking to you in broken Japanese....

Please don't stretch out naked in the locker room after you are done with your work outs - it's already an awkward enough place for me to be stuck in a small room with naked asian men...

Passing gas on a treadmill is inappropriate, period...

If you are in an aerobics class wearing raver pants, a leopard print tube top, pink air force one sneakers and a sweatband that says 'eat me' - I'm gonna stare - get over it!

FYI - my new food love - vanilla bean custard cream puffs - oohh, how skinny of me!

Back at the ranch -

I have a student that is destined to be the next Regina George from Mean girls - she's 3 1/2 and she's already kickin ass and takin names. This little firecracker has spunk - she gives me attitude pretty much every time she's in class ,she hits me with her little stiletto - and her newest thing is to try and steal extra stickers when I specifically tell her only one...Today she thought it was funny to give me a wet willy...except she decided to forego the finger in the mouth and went right for the nasal cavity instead...

We have these get togethers at work when a teacher leaves, but unfortunately its just a time when we all get to talk about all the terrors that we each have - it's kinda like seeing who has the most ridiculous, awful, hopeless and difficult students...makes some feel better - for others, like me, it's just like a free therapy session....oh and the smiles on the faces of the teachers who are leaving is priceless - you can pretty much see a neon sign flashing above with an arrow pointing to the rest of us saying "suckers!!"

The fall is a very special time for me - it makes me really nostalgic for things that I miss back home - like friends in college, walks around 23rd street in portland, Pumpkin spice lattes from Starbucks that I can special order and big maple leaves...

The fall has yet to come to Kasukabe, but when it does, I'm sure I'll be a mess...but the good thing is I will be sweating less, I can break out my pashminas and it's only a few months until I get to be in Hawaii!

I will say on a final funny note that I get my clothes dry cleaned here since I can't use the iron in my house because it makes my circuit breaker trip. Well I was at work all day with a busy schedule and instead of some telling me that there was a dry cleaning tag on my butt all day, I got to walk around with a giant stapled number through 10 lessons, a trip to the grocery store and a march through the local mall..god bless those far-too-polite Japanese....