I can't even tell you all the crazy amounts of buckets of sweat I have lost...since this morning!!!
It's about 90 with 10000% humidity - its basically what I envision hell to be like - except with way more rice and less bad drivers...
It's only going to get hotter - which means I have another 12 weeks of sweating from pores that I didn't know existed..
My advice, unless your cold blooded creature - stay away from Tokyo when the sun is shining! It's funny cause I don't even mind that I have sweat streaks running down my back since the only thing I'm concerned with is the next stop off with AC!!
There actually are different levels of sweating I've decided - starts with the mild, healthy glow that you get when it's warm...then it moves into the small beads of sweat that accumulate on your head - much like on a first date or an awkward encounter with an ex...Then you start to get the back sweat, the kind that makes it awful to wear a shirt that has the ability to change colors like gray to dark gray - it's like putting a bullseye on your back for the butt end of jokes on the train...then, when the damn sun is in full force - you get the waterfall - the uncontrollable face, back, leg, arm leakage that just makes you the most unattractive person in the world - at this point you either need to just assuming the position and walk with your head high or find a nice boutique with an arctic blast goin on and pretend to show until you are dry - I won't mention that today I spent an hour in a lingerie shop cause it was colder than the skater shop next door - thank god for being gay!!
There is something fun that we don't have in America - Summer festivals! There is a festival every weekend in Japan. They are full of drunk people banging drums and bouncing portable shrines on their shoulders. The best part is these festivals are kind of just an excuse for more public drunkenness. I went to festival for the morning glory last week - wtf?!! who has a party over a plant?! The parties don't last long and everyone gets dressed up, which is fun - all except for the men in the traditional gear - let me explain the meaning of butt floss....It's like a diaper cut in half in the back and shoved in between ones butt cheeks - now it wouldn't be bad if these people all looked like Mario Lopez or someone with ass for days, but instead, we get to witness the horror of a drunk salary man running around like a giant kindergartener thinking he looks decent. Don't even get me started on the whistle blowing during these events - my ear drums are still recovering.
Though the good thing about summer is the food changes with the seasons - there are all new kinds of wonders to try at the store. Some good, some to pass on - but all worth a try. Many of the fruits are in full swing at this point and they are mixed into most desserts - very delicious. Along with food - I have learned that there are different ways to hold chopsticks - I thought there was just a universal way to get the food from plate to mouth - oh, no - there is a finesse that makes me green with envy...I have watched people eat with their finger towards the ends, others with this claw like position, some with the finely engineered positioning to get the optimal leverage...it's crazy - so I have been trying to mimic these over the last week - lets just say that I've stained 4 shirts, 2 pairs of pants and crushed my pride.
Earth quakes are common in japan - the only thing is I wish we could time them correctly. I was totally asleep in my sauna of an apartment finally, and then I am awoken to the rumbling of a minute long earthquake. Normally I would be fine with these - but you know that time when you are just waking up and you don't remember even you own name. Well my instinct was to grab something and run for the hills - well apparently the only thing close to me was a hand towel and I couldn't decide whether to run for the squeaky screen door or the front door. I chose the later and ended up saying hello to my new neighbors with just a hand towel - classy Dain...
The beaches in Tokyo are actually really fun - they are clean and there aren't many people at them since Japanese find tan skin repulsive. I liked the fact that there were 2 people in 500 feet of beach this weekend and it was hot as hell - where as in Seattle, I'd either have to bride someone with beer or sexual favors to cough up a small square of grass to sit on at Madison Beach. Too bad I look like Sebastian from the Little Mermaid now....:P
Omg, Let me tell you about the newest hair thing that scares the hell outta me - My good friend Erin calls it the super bun. This is a mess of hair properly arranged on the tops of ones head ranging from the size of a baseball to a small soccer ball. These things are dangerous since they are full of secrets and would probably do damage if fallen on...
Today, I saw one of the best specimens yet - she was sitting next to me so I couldn't take an photographic proof - but I crap you not, this thing was probably the size of a healthy watermelon precariously perched on top of her streaked blonde hair. The best part was that in between me attempting to touch it to see if it was actually a raccoon on her head - a beetle fell from the rack above onto the giant beehive mess and she didn't even notice - it was the first time that though I might actually have to get off the train to pee!!!
On a negative note about trains - it's the beginning of jumper season in Tokyo. I've already been to a station that was closed because someone thought it was better to jump in front a train then continue on with life. It's very sad - but unfortunately a very common occurrence here in Tokyo - pretty much weekly - it's covered by the national Japanese Insurance apparently, which is good cause it costs so much for clean up and the time lost for all the passengers - but it's so sad to think that someone is so sad that they can't go on - I want all those people to come and talk to me and hopefully some of my sparkly glitter will rub off on them!
Better news about the train today - I was coming home from Shibuya and there was the funnest thing I've seen yet on the trains. This woman, who looked normal and like a regular everyday business lady, sits down on the train across from me, pulls out a small blue hand towel, proceeds to place it gingerly around her neck like ones does with a bib to a child, puts her head down and sleeps - now this may not seems strange, but when when the woman is a natural drooling waterfall - one can't help but giggle - I could see the spittle in the sunshine and it was pretty much like a faucet dripping in full force...She literally was asleep in her drool on the train, in the middle of the day, she got up - folded up her towel and got off at the stop before me - now at this point I had laughed so hard I thought I was going to throw up!!!
Oh, let me tell you about some of my new students. There was a little girl who is newer to my Friday afternoon class - she has an amazing trick that she likes to perform, I think unconsciously during my class. She blows snot bubbles as she talks!!! It's awkward cause I laugh the whole time and I think she doesn't know why - I'm like a big 10 year old when she comes to class cause I wanna see if she's able to do it again each week. Too bad she's adorable and like 6...uggh - I'm awful...lol
So, I also have this new ritual with the hellian of a child and it's driving me nuts - not only am I not able to eat in peace when he's there - he has decided that it's awesome or ransack my room while I"m on my lunch and come over and stick his finger in each of my food items and ask what they are = if I don't get the bird flu - I will be shocked!!!
On a final note, a story that cannot be missed - so I have told you in the past about the garbage situation in Japan - everything is separated and organized...everything goes on different days - it's all greek to me - I can't figure out what the damn sign says so I usually just wait until I see what's supposed to be thrown away, run downstairs with my garbage and pray that I don't get yelled at by the little old ladies...We'll I've learned that easier then that is just to throw it away late at night when no one can spy on me so that I don't have to figure out which days to separate since some little magic elf does it anyways whenever i leave it...Well I guess I'm busted since last week, I pulled my usual CIA undercover spy move and ran it to the communal garbage spot and stealthily walked away - only to find the garbage piled neatly back up - ON MY PORCH! I've been spotted, tagged and labeled by the neighbors - damn - the honeymoon period is over!!!